It’s officially 2018! Happy New Year!
I don’t know how you rolled in the New Year, but we toasted it at 10:30pm, kissed each other good night and hit the pillow guilt-free! Let me tell you: That is my favorite way to ring in a New Year. I’ve done it different many, many times and always woke up to regret it. Which brings me to the subject of this post.
Every year I choose a word to guide the upcoming year and I write about what I think it means. But because I believe in God, and I know that He is working all things for my good, a more honest statement is that He chooses a word for me. I know this because every year I look back on the closing year and stand amazed by the fact that for so many of the 365 days I forgot the word completely — but it didn’t forget me.
The words that have guided my last five years are: renew; intention; trust and peace. Last year my word was pursue.
As I look back today (because who am I kidding, there wasn’t a moment’s peace over Christmas vacation with three crazy boys to get quiet and think!) — I realize what an interesting timeline it has been. How much work God did in those early years deep inside my own heart. Carving out places of depth and character, humility and intention…birthed in so many ways through trial, disappointment, uncertainty, failure and even loss.
And then a word like pursue. It felt so active. So external. So opposite of my introverted nature, the words before it, and yet, exactly what I needed.
Exactly what I have done. This year has been a year of pursuit. I shut down my old blog and launched a dream. Day after day, week after week, month after month has been a steep learning curve. From designing and sourcing products to developing programs and membership groups to managing social media and marketing and filing copyrights and trademarks and a million other things I’ve never done: I’ve pursued and persevered. Even when I didn’t know I was doing it. Or how to do it! Even when it was hard.
I’ll be honest. It has all been hard. And so, so good.
My word for 2018 feels no less interesting or timely. I already know what parts of it I need, and yet I’m curious about what God has in store. Because when I quiet my head and heart I feel this resounding call to just BE.
If I’m completely transparent I know this is exactly what I need. What I’ve NEEDED for months. Because while this last year I’ve been on a path of pursuit, and have been growing and learning and hustling, all along the way I’ve also been watching. I watch other people in awe and wonder how they manage multiple social media accounts and private groups and create content and raise children and put on actual pants in the morning!
Seriously. Who does that??!
Certainly not me. Pajamas rule.
Today, this company and this dream is just me and my dogged determination and I know I need to stop comparing myself with companies with full-time staff or I’ll grow weary. We’ll get there. I know we will.
And it’s going to be amazing.
But for now it’s just me. And somewhere in the middle of the noise, in all the running and doing and hustling and watching and trying and failing and comparing and stumbling and disappointing someone, somewhere, I hear him telling me to stop. Stop watching. Stop comparing. Stop trying so hard to find a formula and just BE.
Me.
And that’s something I’m definitely willing to pursue.
What’s your word?